Must admit, I'm not a great lover of children in restaurants.The ones that sit quietly and eat their lunch/dinner are no problem at all.It's the ones that run around screaming and shouting that do it for me.Especially when their parents seem to take great delight in what their little angels are getting upto.So, to ensure my meal is not spolied by horrible children and inconsiderate parents, iv'e found a little forethought can relieve the problems before they begin.I would suggest arriving at the restaurant armed with some duct tape, a length of nylon rope and a nail gun.Then, when the first little 3 year old runs screaming past your table, you can lasso the little darling, rope his hands and feet together (steed style), apply a good length of duct tape across the screeching mouth and the secure the complete package to the skirting board by firing the nail gun through the bottom of his trousers.This ensures no more screaming or running around for the remainder of the meal.Repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 for other offensive children.Top tip, Ladies, it may help to catty a pair of pliars in your handbag to secure the release of your little darling from the skirting board when all diners have finished their meal. |