| I have uncovered perhaps the most extreme conspiracy theory ever and I need to warn everyone because the danger is immediate. I have learned that the Scandinavian governments have been conducting secret genetic experiments on reindeer and have now produced specimens capable of flight! And it gets worse: a pack of eight of them have escaped from the secret base they were being held in, along with their handler, an obese psychopath who wears a red and white uniform. Now for the really scary bit; they've got this experimental teleportation device (which came from a UFO the US government has in Area 51) which allows them to move incredibly quickly. And they're going to use it (and the flying reindeer) to get into the homes of everyone in the world. TONIGHT! Please be on your guard because there is literally no way you can keep this fat Viking intruder out of your homes! I don't know what he wants but it will definitely be to do with Cabals, Secret Societies, the Illuminati, and the Royal Family (who are reptiles). I cant prove any of this but it IS all facts and anyone who doesnt believe that is just a stupid sheeple. Merry Christmas to you all! |